1. Keri

    Keri Leader

    As we know, last year on this date the entire government and military of the United States of America resigned and appointed the Communist Party, USA to power in their stead.

    Of course, only a few changes have been carried out in the first year of Working Class rule.
    As we all remember, on International Liberation Day last year, the former White house was re-painted as the Red House, the rotten and corrupt 2-party bourgeois parliament system was scrapped and a vast network of 100,000 Workers Councils were instituted, the Wal-Mart organization was nationalized, the USA Today newspaper was re-chartered as "The New Daily Worker" and amongst the more humorous events, the HQ of Fox (Faux) "News" was stormed by 10 million angry Americans and burned down, and all banks closed their doors in shame to forgive all debts.

    An exciting year followed International Liberation Day. Immediately after the new Statue of Liberation was unveiled, at 12:01am on the 2nd of April 2014, the entire Right-Wing parasitic class vowed to leave planet Earth and re-settle on Mars. Other parasitic classes were quick to join.
    Although they neglected to consider that without the working class they are nothing more than clumsy apes that fall out of trees, and that not a single one of them was capable of building a mud hut let alone interplanetary spacecraft, the international working class generously pitched in and build a massive star fleet capable of holding the entire former ruling class plus assorted other riffraff within a month.

    A spokesperson for The Party elaborated: "It isn't often that deposed ruling classes volunteer to leave on their own, especially to uninhabitable planets, with no chance of survival. As our best interests coincided with their rash decision to "colonize" an uninhabited planet, we were more than happy to help speed them on their way."

    After the Big Launch, with all of the former Bankers, Investors, Monarchs, Capitalists of every stripe and every other parasite of the Working Class safely on their (preprogrammed, one-way) trip to Mars, life on Earth entered a new epoch of Socialism.
    As modern automation reduced the work necessary to maintain and expand human activity of every kind, and with the entire military-industrial complex on its way to Mars, the work week was reduced first to 32 hours, then to 28 and finally 24 hours, with full pay and vastly expanded benefits.

    In Russia, on the eve of the 69th Victory Day, it was revealed that Lenin's "Tomb" is actually an advanced suspended-animation capsule, programmed in 1924 to re-awaken Lenin when Socialism was achieved.

    As the re-animation process took a few months, Comrade Lenin stepped out for the first time in 90 years this morning. Now things will really take off!
  2. Wartburg353W

    Wartburg353W Loyal Comrade

    Lenin will shake hands with Elvis who is also not dead, and they will rule the world together in sequin jumpsuits.
    Keri likes this.

Share This Page