International Liberation Day In a surprise move, all members of the government of the USA resigned today at 12:01am, appointing the Communist Party, USA (CPUSA) to power in their stead. “We give up!” the members of the executive, legislative and judicial branches exclaimed. “After allowing this once-great nation to devolve into Capitalism and Corporatism, we just couldn't live with ourselves anymore and decided that it was high time that someone with proper moral authority be given a chance to run things.” The entire United States Military also resigned on the spot, saying “What were we thinking? We're deeply sorry for all of the sufering and death we've been causing and hope our surviving victims can fnd it in their hearts to forgive us.” As a result of this bold action, all of the worlds major Banks declared a Jubilee for all debts, public and private, closed their doors in shame and immediately surrendered all executives for re-education. The Communist Party USA immediately issued a statement that plans for this event have been in the works for decades and that all Party Members are ready for the monumental tasks ahead. They then declared today, the 1st of April 2014, International Liberation Day and announced plans for world peace, free education, free housing, free healthcare, full employment, and a vast, international project to reverse environmental damage. By 6:00AM, CPUSA ofcers had already dissolved the country's 2-party parliament system and introduced a vast system of Worker's Councils, fully staffed by tens of millions of workers who had worked all through the night in preparation. Meanwhile, in Washington DC, the White House was painted Red and re-named while the Capitol building was hastily remodeled into the secondary headquarters of CPUSA's Central Committee. At noon a million representatives brandishing Hammers and Sickles from all 100,000 newly- formed Worker's Councils arrived at DC to witness the raising of the Red Flag over Washington accompanied by all present singing the new (inter)national anthem, a very bold English version of l'international. Other Western countries were quick to follow suit, with all remaining Monarchies overthrown while China fnally put down the capitalist class. Over in Russia, President Vladimir Putin handed over the Kremlin to the leaders of the reconstituted USSR2.0, who pledged solidarity to the international. Back in the USA, the headquarters of FOX “News” was stormed by ten million angry citizens and burned down, the USA Today newspaper was taken over by its workers and re-named “The New Daily Worker” and the entire Wal-Mart organization was nationalized. Finally, at midnight the new Statue of Liberation was unveiled, a magnifcent 500 foot tall representation of Lenin.